Build Resilience: Why CBT is a Great Way (PsyCap 11)

Build Resilience using Cognitive Behaviroal Therapy (CBT)

One of the most striking things about resilient individuals is their ability to maintain mental clarity when confronted with challenging circumstances. Such a quality helps you to evaluate situations accurately and respond in an ideal way when confronted with setbacks. CBT is an effective approach to build resilience, because it helps adjust cognitive distortions that limit our ability to see things clearly. In other words, the ability to pinpoint your own distortions, even as they are happening, can help you become more resilient.

In this series of articles I cover 17 common cognitive distortions. Along with each distortion, I present targeted questions you can ask yourself to help adjust any inaccurate thoughts you may have. See my first post to get an overview of the first three distortions:

• Filtering
• Polarized Thinking
• Overgeneralization

In this post, we explore the next five distortions:

• Magnification (Catastrophizing) and Minimization
• Jumping to Conclusions – Mind Reading
• Jumping to Conclusions – Predicting
• Disqualifying the Positive
• Personalization

4. Build Resilience by Countering Magnification (Catastrophizing) and Minimization

Magnification causes one to focus on the negative aspects of a situation and blow them out of proportion. In other words, you evaluate situations, yourself or others by making the negative aspects bigger than they actually are. For instance, if your boss points out a mistake on your powerpoint presentation, you may think, “this shows that I am not a good employee”. Even though everything else was great and we all make mistakes, you take this one critique and unreasonably believe it means you perform poorly.

With the other pole minimization, you diminish the meaning or value of significant events. For example, you exceeded your targets this quarter, but think, “It’s not that big of a deal,” Furthermore, you deflect compliments or brush them under the rug. It is common for those with a strong inner critic to display such behaviors. Those who minimize often build discounting, disqualifying language into their statements:

• Maybe…
• Could I just…
• Only…
• I’m sorry… (constantly apologizing)
• It’s nothing…
• Thanks, but…
• I think… (mostly uncertain)
• This is probably not important, but…

A consequence of using such language regularly is you may come across as unconfident, incapable and incompetent.

Minimization also refers to diminishing the significance of someone else’s achievement instead of giving them due credit. Those with a scarcity mindset can’t stand to see others succeed and often downplay the accomplishments of others.

Helpful Tips & Questions to Ask Yourself

Magnification

• What is the worst thing that can happen in this scenario? How about the best thing? What is something in between, a more realistic outcome?
• What are other aspects of this situation that went well? You will probably be relieved to see that your list of positive things is much longer than your list of negative things.

Minimization – Self

• How could I “pitch” my accomplishment? What would I tell someone to convince them that I did a great job?
• Am I using discounting terms? How can I rephrase my statements to exclude such language?

Here are ways to change disqualifying language to more confident language:

• Maybe -> eliminate this word, just say what you think
• Could I just… -> I would like to or I will
• I’m sorry… (constantly apologizing) -> don’t apologize for every little thing
• It’s nothing… -> your welcome
• Thanks, but… -> thank you
• I think… (mostly not sure) -> eliminate, just say what you are convinced of
• This is probably not important, but… -> eliminate, if you need to say it, it’s important.

You know what you are doing and what you are talking about, so no need to downplay your accomplishments. It does not help you. Don’t be ashamed of doing a great job.

Minimization – Others

• If I accomplished what the other person did, how would I want others to respond?
• What are my accomplishments? How could both parties be seen as successful in this situation?

5. Build Resilience by Not Jumping to Conclusions – Mind Reading

This points to the inaccurate belief that we think we know what someone else is feeling or thinking. When jumping to conclusions it is common to assume that others have negative feelings toward us or think poorly of us. For example, you believe that a colleague dislikes you, because they did not greet you in the hallway. However, they were thinking about something else and did not notice you, or anyone else as a matter of fact.

Another example is you assume your manager cancelled your one on one meeting, because they don’t think that you are important. In actuality your manager has a rapidly approaching deadline and is currently under a lot of pressure.

Helpful Tips & Questions to Ask Yourself

• Have I jumped to the wrong conclusion before? Could this situation be similar?
• Is my assumption based on fact or feeling? What evidence is there to support my belief?
• Am I considering several possibilities or various scenarios? Do I see the big picture?

6. Build Resilience by Not Jumping to Conclusions – Predicting

This distortion refers to making negative assumptions about future events based on little to no evidence. You then hold these assumptions as truth. For instance, in a meeting you interrupt someone mid scentence because you think they’re going to say something contrary to your point. You’re so sure you know what your colleague is going to say that you begin to argue against a point they have yet to verbalize. In reality your colleague wanted to bring up a related topic for further discussion.

A doctor may misdiagnose a patient, because they don’t listen to the full range of symptoms and assume what the problem is.

Hiring managers may decide to not give someone an offer, because they don’t have a good gut feeling. However, this biased decision is not based on valid indications of future performance and could result in missing out on great talent.

Helpful Tips & Questions to Ask Yourself

• Is my conclusion valid? What information am I missing to form a qualified opinion?
• Am I being too fast? Take more time to consider the situation
• Have I jumped to the wrong conclusion before? Could this situation be similar?
• Am I giving this person a chance? Can I really know what they will say?

7. Build Resilience by Not Disqualifying the Positive

This is a distortion in which one insists that their accomplishments or positive qualitites do not count. It has more of a negative thrust than minimization because positive events are completely disqualified.

For example, you think that your manager promoted you merely to stop you from resigning. Hence, your promotion is not a real acknowledgement of your success.

In general, those with this distortion think that their accomplishments are insignificant. Reasons may be: anyone could have performed just as well, I was lucky or it was not good enough.

Helpful Tips & Questions to Ask Yourself

• What did I do to contribute to this success?
• Next time someone gives you a compliment, just say thank you!
• What character traits do I have that made me successful in this situation?
• When something good happens, resist the temptation to brush it off. Accept it and be thankful for the positive situation

8. Build Resilience by Countering Personalization

An indication of this thought pattern is that you feel everything in one way or the other is directed at you or has to do with you. This means that you often take things personally. Furthermore, you may tend to assign blame to yourself for things that go wrong. Even if something is not your fault at all, you may disproportionately shoulder the blame and feel guilty and ashamed as a result.

Another indication is that you often compare yourself to others and try to find out who is better looking or smarter. This may happen because you tend to make everything about you. In other words you place yourself at the center of every consideration even as it relates to other people or events.

If in a meeting someone says we should work on more creative solutions, you may take this personally and think it is a direct criticism of your work. If the team misses their target, you may go to the extreme and think that it is your fault.

Helpful Tips & Questions to Ask Yourself

• What did others do to contribute to this outcome?
• Is it reasonable to take full blame for this situation?
• What are external factors, things out of your control, that can explain the situation
• Recognize that you don’t fully know why people do what they do
• Realize that your value as a person does not depend on others’ opinions of you
• Focus on you own strengths and accomplishments, instead of comparing yourself to others

Summary

In this post we learned how to apply cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques to build resilience. CBT is highly effective because it helps adjust negative thinking patterns. By using the tips covered in this post you will be better equipped to pinpoint your own distortions, even as they are happening. This will help you to have the mental clarity needed to respond ideally when confronted with difficulties.

I covered five distortions and presented helpful ways to challenge them:

• Catastrophizing or minimization
• Jumping to Conclusions – Mind Reading
• Jumping to Conclusions – Predicting
• Disqualifying the Positive
• Personalization

Stay tuned for more ways to build resilience by challenging innacurate, destructive thought patterns. In the next post we take a look at:

• Emotional Reasoning
• Control Fallacies
• Fallacy of Fairness
• Should Statements

Resources

Burns, David D. Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy. New York, N.Y: Penguin Books, 1981. Print.

Joyce S, Shand F, Tighe J, et alRoad to resilience: a systematic review and meta-analysis of resilience training programmes and interventionsBMJ Open 2018;8:e017858. doi: 10.1136/bmjopen-2017-017858