fbpx
Communication

The SCARF Model: How to Understand Others When Conflict Arises

October 31, 2022
office team having a meeting

What are your thoughts about conflict at work? Is it useful or something that’s disruptive? Whatever your view, one thing is certain. Workplace conflict is unavoidable. Part of growing personally and professionally is learning to deal with conflict productively. To do this it’s important to understand how others see the situation as much as possible. Furthermore, it’s crucial to increase your self-awareness to better understand why certain things trigger you. David Rock’s SCARF Model is a great framework we can use to gain such insight.

The SCARF Model

The SCARF Model identifies five key areas that influences how our brain works in social situations.

Status

Describes how important we view ourselves in relation to others. We like to stand out and have a sense of value. For example, when we do something well, we crave recognition.

Certainty

Describes our desire to know what’s going on. We enjoy clarity and like it when we can make accurate predictions about the future. By contrast we often view uncertainty as a threat.

Autonomy

We like to have a sense of control about the events in our life and the decisions that we make. It’s empowering when we know that the actions we take influence the outcome of a particular situation.

Relatedness

Describes our desire to feel connected. We like to have a sense of belonging and safety when interacting with others.

Fairness

Refers to a feeling of justice, equity, and equality when we interact with others.

These 5 areas represent the social needs our brain considers essential for safety and survival. When these needs are met we feel good. We have a sense of safety and security. In the work context we feel more engaged, are better collaborators, feel we can open to others and feel confident when making decisions.

When these needs are not met our body has both a physiological and emotional response. Our heart rate and blood pressure increases. In addition, blood is redistributed to other parts of the body to prepare for a flight or fight response. At the emotional level we may get defensive, blame others or feel insecure.

The Neurological Basis of the SCARF Model

The basis of the brain-based SCARF model is twofold:

  1. Much of the motivation behind our social interactions stems from the desire to minimize threats and maximize rewards.
  2. The main domains of our social experience activate the same brain networks used for survival. This means that the brain treats social needs similarly as the need for food and water.

According to Evian Gordon, a fundamental way the brain works is to minimize danger and maximize reward. In other words, we tend to have an “approach” response to something the brain tags as good and an “avoid” response to a stimulus the brain tags as bad.

When we associate something with positive emotions or rewards, we usually want more of it (maximize rewards). In contrast when associate something with negative emotions or punishment, we tend to avoid it (minimize threats).

The Approach-Avoid Mechanism

This approach-avoid mechanism helps people to stay alive by quickly remembering what is good and bad in the environment. This mechanism is part of the limbic system and works quickly, automatically, and subconsciously. For this reason, we tend to react strongly when we feel threatened in any of the five key areas of the SCARF model.

These reactions are very hard to control and are often the seeds of conflict. Feeling threatened limits our creativity and productivity, so it’s important we learn how to effectively handle conflict when it arises. In fact after feeling threatened it can take up to 20 or 30 minutes to calm back down.

Let’s say you try to help a colleague by giving them advice, even though they didn’t ask for it. You notice that they get defensive and seem a bit annoyed. Why is this the case? Afterall you’re just trying to help. It could be that you threated their sense of status, by giving unsolicited advice. They might think, “I know what I’m doing, and don’t need their input.”

By using the SCARF Model to understand why they feel offended, you can adjust your communication in the future to give feedback in a more motivating way.

Examples of Threats in Social Situations at Work

photo of man sitting in front of people
Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com

The following are examples of conflict at work that stem from threats to the 5 areas of the SCARF Model.

Status in the SCARF Model

When we sense a threat to our status, we may feel embarrassed or angry and get defensive.

Your boss – Let’s say a manager regularly points out your mistakes. Eventually you feel like they’re threatening your competence. People don’t like to be wrong, so depending on how your manager gives feedback, you might get angry and harbor negative feelings towards them.

Competition – If a new employee joins your team and does an exceptional job, you may feel insecure about your own performance. You might think that your boss will compare you to them and look down on your work. As a result of this insecurity, you might begin to downplay the other colleague’s achievements or talk poorly about them.

Certainty

A lack of certainty can cause us to feel anxious, annoyed, or angry. In situations full of uncertainty the orbital frontal cortex of our brain works harder to try and make sense of the unknown. As a result we may feel exhausted and lose focus. Uncertainty is threatening. We like it when things are predictable.

Organizational change – Let’s say your company announces a round of layoffs, but you’re still not sure if you can keep your job. The lack of clear communication may cause you to feel anxious. It will certainty have a negative effect on the company’s work atmosphere. In such situations employees tend to draw their own conclusions. Rumors spread and general dissatisfaction increases.

Unclear roles – A lack of role clarity is a major factor that can lead to burnout. For example, let’s say you’re not clear about your reporting line. You lack clarity about what you exactly need to do and by when. Different people ask you to do different tasks and it’s hard for you to prioritize. Eventually there will be conflict due to differing expectations.

Autonomy in the SCARF Model

Autonomy is crucial factor for human flourishing. It promotes creativity, increases motivation, reduces unnecessary pressure, and contributes to higher levels of engagement at work.

Leadership style – Your boss may have a very clear idea of how they want you to complete a task and not give you much wiggle room. Or they may closely track your performance and contantly speak to you about your KPIs. Their tendency to micromanage is a threat to your sense of autonomy. You may get confrontational or avoid your boss as much as possible.

Working style – Let’s say you are working on a project with another colleague, but your working styles are very different. You like to work quickly and efficiently, but your colleague is extremely detail oriented and slow. You might have the sense your coworker is restricting and holding you back.

Relatedness

Having a sense of connectedness and belonging is another crucial factor for human flourishing and motivation. It’s essential for our well-being to build healthy relationships.

Differing personalities – one’s sense of relatedness is threatened when they feel they’re being excluded and disadvantaged. Most people want to be part of an in-group. We identify with our in-group and tend to exclude others who are not part of it.

For instance, members of different departments sometimes work against each another. In the work context, those who have better connections often enjoy privileged information and advance in their career more quickly.

Bullying – workplace bullying is a problem that greatly threatens one’s sense of relatedness. Spreading rumors, picking on someone, making fun of others, and treating others unfairly are all forms of workplace bullying. This persistent form of mistreatment causes physical or emotional harm and can lead to recipients feeling fearful and anxious.

Fairness in the SCARF Model

When someone feels they’re treated unfairly the insular cortex is activated. This is the region of the brain that is responsible for our sensation of disgust. Some of our strongest reactions stem from the sense that something is not fair.

Work distribution – Sometimes it seems like certain colleagues get by just fine doing less work than others. Top performers may even get more tasks from their manager, but are not rewarded accordingly. The way managers divide up work is often not “fair” and can quickly lead to employee dissatisfaction.

Politics – When certain colleagues receive better opportunities because of their connection with a manager you may feel frustrated. A lack of transparency in the decision making process is a common reason for employee turnover.

Application

woman drinking coffee during daylight
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

The next time you end up in a conflict try to understand where the other person is coming from and why they reacted the way they did. Use the SCARF Model to consider what the root of the problem is. Did they feel like what you said was not fair or did they feel excluded? Before reacting, take a moment to stop and evaluate the situation. This is a crucial first step for learning to deal with conflict in a productive and constructive way.

You can also use the SCARF Model to better understand why you feel offended in certain situations. Having a heightened self-awareness about your own triggers will equip you to pause before reacting quickly. In this way you respond instead of react. The result is you’re more likely to reach your goals or a compromise that works for both parties.

If you need support in dealing with a particular conflict or enhancing your conflict management skills, feel free to reach out to me here.

References

Rock, D. (2008). SCARF: A brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others. NeuroLeadership journal, 1(1), 44-52.

Rock, D., & Cox, C. (2012). SCARF in 2012: Updating the social neuroscience of collaborating with others. NeuroLeadership journal, 4(4), 1-16.

Leave a Reply